SVNIT of the future-Five years later

Disclaimer: This article written by a sadist is a pessimistic view on how the college is developing and focuses only on the negatives (among the many positives) of the institute (mind you: not college).

Kindly don’t mind.

When the students joining SVNIT this summer will pass out, here is how the college will be:

Student Council: My favorite field to start with- Since most of the admitted students will be from AP and Rajasthan, Regional politics will lose steam in case elections take place and students will take the cue from You-Know-Who (You-Know-Who refers to- well you know who) and follow interdepartmental politics with dominant departments being the mechanical and civil departments and the playmaker being the Applied Mech.
Student council will function for only 5 days in a year and all non academic activities of all committees including the technical and cultural fest will have to be organized during that time.
Imagine, if elections do not take place, our eminent faculty, which has the noble goal of enabling everyone to have overall personality development, will select the 10 pointers to the student council on the basis of their inexperience in all fields except academics and they will manage fests and (oh…that’s already happening- I forgot)
On the other hand, the sure shot way to enter a committee to manage a fest would be to fight before an election.
Faculty positions (like deans) will also be allotted not on the basis of experience but on the basis of the marks they score in an exam conducted to test their technical knowledge.
Scet’s technical fest Kshitij will become more famous than Mindbend.
Faculty will manage fests themselves and mostly the faculty and their kids will perform in the cultural fest.
The college band will perform in the celebrity night and the cost will be 10 lakhs.
The traditional dress competition (believe me that is what the fashion night is called) will feature only boys.

Infrastructure will be awesome. 50 crore worth of stuff will be constructed in 500 crore.
Tender of Convocation hall will finally be passed.

SAC: Gym will be in the process of being renovated since the last three years. The pool table will be put at a faculty’s house and the rest of the facilities will be reserved for the faculty. Students can access the facilities everyday from 5 to 6 AM.


Hostel Section:

Anybody who wishes to leave the college premises will be able to do so only with the written permission of the chief hostel warden.
In-time will be 7.00 pm strictly because students drive fast in the night and get involved in accidents. Anybody coming late will be tested by an imaginary breathalyzer because students drink outside the college (in imaginary bars I suppose) and come to college drunk late at night. All this will be written in a notice and informed prior to the students.
Security at the main gate (consisting only of women) will be extremely strict involving passing through a metal detector
Chamunda will close shop due to the in-time.
Hostel section will get tired of levying fines and start periodic extortion of money- Hafta
If more than two people will be found in a single room, they will be tortured for disturbing the sanctity of the hostel room.
All wardens will have LCD monitors mounted on the walls of their office
Localites will not be allowed in the hostel premises at any time under any pretext.
There will Close Circuit Cameras in all hostel rooms so that students do not misuse them.
Everyone will have to make an entry in a register while leaving their rooms.
Hostels will continue to have seeping toilets.
There will be 4 seater rooms for BTech while each Mtech will get three rooms.


Discipline: There will be separate partitions in the whole college itself for girls and boys. Imagine railings in the middle of classrooms. On the roads, the left side will be for the boys and the right side for the girls. Girls and boys seen talking together will be academically penalized. Girls will have to follow a strict dress code of full sleeve salvar kurta while boys will have plain formals.
A US prison team will visit the girls hostel and provide consultancy and beef up the security by employing electric fences etc.

Academics: All classes will take place(Bunktime=0) even though faculty will play games like Dumb Charades during classes because they will have nothing to teach. (Its happening in one department already)
MBA will be offered with a highly distinguished faculty.
There will be jammers in the departments so mobiles cannot be accessed.
Exams will be held on Holi and Diwali.
Girls can report out of the hostel only during class timings and they will have to report back for the lunch time.
Computer department will use facial recognition for attendance.

Miscellaneous: Instead of a yellow pill, people will be given a green pill in the dispensary
Canteen will be the same as it is since the last 10 years. Every morning Shekhar bhai will get up and read the newspaper, all the tables and chairs(on the verge of being broken) will still be the same, the same TV will adorn the place and the food and taste will not change a bit.
On the college internet, only the SVNIT mail client can be opened, for all other websites, you will get a regret message. Even google can be used for devious purposes, so its better that it is banned.
DC++ will be monitored continuously by the faculty.
There will be no funding for student projects since all the money will go to keep changing granite floors in a particular department.
Sitting inappropriately in the canteen may lead to a GRE candidate to forfeit his letter of recommendation.
Adam teasing will be in vogue instead of eve teasing.
We will get a TEQIP rating of 11 on 10.
Along with deciding the Institute’s magazine’s name, the faculty will edit all the articles too. Students will be used only to photocopy and scan the articles.

Inspite of all this, students will be students and they will find a way to enjoy in all these restrictions like we have.